Today was such a hard day. Today was so filled with love. Today was so filled with pain. Today was such a hard day. After almost 15 years...

Continuing in my quest to infuse more fun into my life on the reg, I have been trying to explore more of California. When I first moved here, the sky was apocalypse orange, there was ash in the air, everything was shut down due to the pandemic, and most of my family wouldn't see me because vaccines had not been distributed yet. Things have changed a lot since then, thank God. I live in such a beautiful place; why should I still be living in Pandemic Stupor? It's time to get b

After taking a deep dive into my motivations last week and realizing that my primary eating habits right now are hedonic, I set out to find new (food-free) ways of having more fun! When I was at work last week, I was telling my colleagues how much I like "Refuge"-- the outdoor aquatherapy center in Carmel Valley. Some of you may remember this photo of "Refuge"-- I believe it was my most liked photo on facebook. Ever. One of my teammates built on this and said that she really

I have been obsessed with this British show called “Sneaky Eaters” recently. It focuses on people who believe that they are eating healthily but are actually consuming thousands of calories over their limit each day. This can be due to many things: sneaking treats and hiding them from families/spouses/selves Grazing on snacks throughout the day Restricting food and then rewarding self with bingeing Using high calorie oils/ dressings/ trimmings/ etc. simply not understan

One of the things that really gets me about being fat and having to lose weight is how permanent that mindset ends up being. Now that I am fat (and my hormones and habits etc. are all messed up), I will have to think about food for the rest of my life. It's like when we cross the line with anything-- drugs, alcohol, cigarettes--- we never have the luxury ever again of getting to not think about it. I quit smoking over 10 years ago and I still pat my pockets for cigarettes som

There was a time in my life when I trusted my body. I mean I really trusted it. I could be reasonably certain that if a friend wanted to...

One of the hardest moments when becoming Fat is the moment other people stop denying it. When you’re still kind of curvy and cute, people...

As a Fat person, there is one thing I feel more often than anything else: Hot. And, no. I am not going to give you a Big is Beautiful...

During the first year of my principalship, my stress level grew and grew and grew. And so did my meals. Every weekday, I got up at 5am, worked until 7pm, had dinner, and then worked until midnight. Every weekend I spent at least one 8-hour day working. I even dreamed about work almost every night. "Just a little more," I would think to myself. "If I can put in a good, hard week now then maybe next week will be easier." "Next week" was never easier. Semesters continued to cres

I wasn't always fat. In my 20s my body was a thick, muscular machine. I had just come off years of working in carpentry shops and a year of mild starvation living in a hotel in Milwaukee. I worked out at least 5 days a week. I went to yoga classes, boxing classes, and Orange Theory. On the weekends I would jump out of bed to take my dog for a hike. I regularly spent whole days biking around town. I ran in the park. There are two different occasions when I remember crying beca